Remember when the creaking of VHS tapes was the nightly call to adventure? Street Trash wasn’t just a movie — it was a Tuesday night, a love affair with trashy humor and cheap latex. The Ninja Turtles? Mutant philosophers with pizza, showing more character development than most Netflix dramas.
And as the images flickered, you could almost hear a voice behind the glitches. It buzzed like a dubbed-over voice track from the back office: “Eh, it’s fine, no need to re-record, just get it out fast.” And somehow… it worked. Somehow, those films had soul. Sticky, ugly, over-saturated soul.
Remember when even bad horror films had style? Yeah — The Last Shift isn’t one of those.
Because The Last Shift isn’t a film. It’s an extended exam period in a subject you hate but someone decided was mandatory.
The plot: A rookie cop takes the night shift at a decommissioned police station, and after 10 PM, the demons show up. Or rather… sounds, shadows, and cheap effects that look like they were copy-pasted from a 2006 After Effects tutorial.
And their backstory? Look, it’s 2014 — we deserve more for our money than a Walmart-brand Manson family. Honestly, I could’ve done better makeup effects, and I nearly failed shop class in elementary school.
Every “scary scene” is staged like someone trying to say hi to you on the bus: no energy, no intention, just awkward social tension poorly disguised as horror and capped with a jump scare. The characters? You could fit them on a sticky note, with room left for a grocery list.
And the worst part is, you can feel that no one truly believed in this. Honestly, I’d marathon this film for anyone who gave it more than 3 stars or recommended it to another human. I swear, I’ll become Samara to those people — except they don’t get seven days. I’d lock them in with The Last Shift immediately, and they can suffer with the lame ghosts and the even lamer plot.
You’re welcome!
Norbert Demeter 